Mad Movie Guy

Just under a month ago, I told a friend of mine, that mario kart comes out in a few weeks, and that I was gonna have to finally go out and hunt for the Wii, so I could kart again, he laughed at the notion, that I would get a Wii just to play Mario Kart. Two weeks later and boy what had happened was a much different story, I had got a Wii and a new TV, cause it turns out mario kart was already out, and he had come over and felt the need to go out and buy a Wii himself. In case you are living under a rock, and havent heard about this game, Ill make you a deal, try to keep up with me, and I will try to make sense.

Now, its no secret of mine that I hate spiders. I feel they are completely un ….. I also believe spiders to be incontrivertable edvidence that there is no god, why would someone so devine place billions of little satans, just to run around and strike fear into the hearts of all his children. Now of course, if my early calculations are correct on my Spider-Based Cold Fusion Theory, to paraphrase Elizabeth Shue in the 1997 award winning masterpiece “The Saint” (Paramount pictures, Directed by Phillip Noyce, with a run time of 118 mins(this shit is in my head, no joke)) “Imagine, running your car for a million miles on a gallon of spider corpses” now if that happens, I would be hard pressed to say there is no god, cause I would be richer than shit. Now thats not the point of why I started typing. Which is something I tend to lose track of. Sometimes I sit down to write having thought of a single line, or a single joke that I wanted to crack, and end up completely forgetting to use it. Like my last blog, about the gay marraiage thing. Initially, out of distain for lack of options with the opposite sex drove me too the line “If Im not bobbing for cock by halloween, Im gonna be seriously depressed” now personally I think thats funny, and Im kinda bummed that I didnt get to use it in its inteneted context. Which is a problem I have to deal with regularly. Which brings me to the point. I hope.

Sometimes, we come across news, and we get giddy as the news directly affects us. Sometimes, we get chills because the news is so important, and staggaring that we are shocked to see or hear about it, that kind of news, doesnt always have to be good persay, but it’s a type none the less. Sometimes, we get news that doesn’t really affect us, or have anything to do with us, really, but it fills us with excitement any ways. Now Ive been on record before, on this very website, as supporting gay marriage. I dont have any kinds of problems with it. Today Im proud to be from California, today their Supreme Court declared banning such marriages as unconstitutional. Which puzzled me as to why I was excited to read the news. Now let me put an end to any speculation out there, I am not gay, however, there are many times when I just wish I was, cause for the most part, the women I meet and develop “feelings” for, are fucking insane. Not just any kind of crazy….like seriously crazy. So I personally think that it would be so much easier to be gay, Ive dealt with people making fun of me for years cause of the weight (which by the way…I hit my beard destruction goal…250 lbs…Im a bad ass) so I could handle that. But Im just sadly not attracted to me. Now thats not to say that I dont have dreams about Val Kilmer and Ben Affleck, but usually we are solving crimes, or getting into drunken arguments about who makes a better Batman…shockingly enough, Affleck always wins that convo…silly bastard. But I digress, I am not gay, and I am cursed with the desire to make children, and so forth and so on, only problem is, I still have been burnt too many times by the opposite sex, and Im crippled with lack of forward motion on that subject.

So, my ordeal is over, as of yesterday, I am a proud owner of a beautiful 46 inch Toshiba Regza LCD TV. I chose this model based on a few different things, first and formost, it beat out all other major brands in preformance, including sony and samsung’s which cost sometimes close to a grand more. Secondly it had all the features, and inputs that I needed for the sick video game museum I am planning on hooking up to it. Thirdly, unlike my TV, it actually works, and flat out looks amazing. Fourth, I read reviews for a bunch of different TVs all week, and this one has the best user reviews overall that I could find. Fifth and final reason, it was the first TV that I saw when I walked into the store, and its color, picture, and overall look blew my mind, and no other TV looked as good to me, after I had seen it. Kinda like how when you have Diet Orange Sunkist, no other orange soda will do the trick.

So my TV has been fucked up, and probably the reason why I havent been sleeping for shit, because the thought of having to buy a new one is driving me up the wall, what kind do I get, what size should I get, so many crazy different thoughts, and I am unable to sleep, cause all I think about is how Ive gotta get a new TV so I can watch Lost. Are you fucking kidding me ? Lost ? Goddamn it. Anyways. Yesterday, I went down to video only to take a look at some new TVs and fucking fell in love with one. Seriously, its hotter than jessica beil on a Rueben Sandwhich. Thats the problem with going TV shopping when you NEED a new TV, and you have to buy one, you find that you fall in love with an 1800 dollar TV. Which is fine, I can make that work, BUT my brain doesnt work that way, because right now I know that there is two things going to happen any day now…just not EXACTLY when.