Mad Movie Guy

One more thing which I realized today, was that exactly 1 year ago today, I started myself on a path of diet and excersise, so Im going to give a small yearly report. I weighed myself today, and I weigh exactly 100 pounds less than I did 1 year ago today. This is the second time in my life that I have lost 100 pounds in a year, the first time, was for a shitload of money and I was highly motivated, then I went through what I like to call the dark times, and I saw a picture of myself on the last day in Ithaca, I realized that I was back to the place I never wanted to be, so I told myself I would get back to where I was, at first I did a few weight loss contests at work, and won a few hundred dollars, cause I was an unstoppable force, I also used motivation of going to my high school reunion and actually looking better than I did back then to guide me through, for a while there after my apartment burnt, I lost some of my motivation again, so I told myself I would not allow myself to shave my beard untill I got down to 250 pounds, that worked and I had a huge beard, cause it took a while to drop the 35 pounds to get me to that goal, but I had to do it before the summer, and I of course did. Ive also put in some good work with books about Buddism and Taoism, as there were some certain things about me, that were mentally unhealthy as much as I was physically out of shape. I cant honestly say that when I look in the mirror I see today the guy that I want to see, but Im at a point where I dont see the guy who went to Ithaca last summer, hes gone, this time he isnt going to be back either. All those public goals and prizes were true and good on some levels, but it wasn’t totally the truth behind it all, to be totally honest with everyone, I’ve gotta be ready, cause the next time I meet a smart, funny, beautiful woman, Im not going to lack the self confidence that I havent had for years. Also, countless times in the last year, people have come up to me, and told me I looked good, and given me their approval for the work that I have put in, and I like a royal fucking asshole, refused to accept their kind words, and often times through it back in their faces, at the time, I wasnt able to accept their kindness as anything other than sarcasm, maybe it was an internal way of motivating myself, and continuing to push myself, so I didnt fall back into to my past ways and lose my focus. So for those of you out there, who had offered your kind words over the last year, and I was ungrateful enough to come back with something rude, or dismissive, I am deeply sorry, and I hope you accept my most sincere appologies, and at the same time, I want to thank you for the same words, even though at the time, I acted as if did not appriciate them, I used them to go from bordering on the worst shape of my life, to where I am at today, where I can officially say “I am in the best shape of my life”, I appriciate those words now, so once more, thank you. I still have goals, and Im not quite there, even when I do get there, I wont let myself get too comfortable, cause this is it for me, Im not letting Fat Jesse come back this time, I let him back once, but it was just an encore. He has left the building.

So, my ordeal is over, as of yesterday, I am a proud owner of a beautiful 46 inch Toshiba Regza LCD TV. I chose this model based on a few different things, first and formost, it beat out all other major brands in preformance, including sony and samsung’s which cost sometimes close to a grand more. Secondly it had all the features, and inputs that I needed for the sick video game museum I am planning on hooking up to it. Thirdly, unlike my TV, it actually works, and flat out looks amazing. Fourth, I read reviews for a bunch of different TVs all week, and this one has the best user reviews overall that I could find. Fifth and final reason, it was the first TV that I saw when I walked into the store, and its color, picture, and overall look blew my mind, and no other TV looked as good to me, after I had seen it. Kinda like how when you have Diet Orange Sunkist, no other orange soda will do the trick.

Is anybody watching Larry fucking King right now ? Its that whole cult thing down in texas, that I am already fucking sick of hearing about, about where the dudes were growing kids on trees down in a crazy house. I think thats the story at least, Im not sure, its been deeply distorted. Maybe Im the asshole, cause simply dont care about this whole thing, or maybe not, I dont know. Well basically, youve got Larry King interviewing a group of the “wives” down there, all in their pastel fucking matching dresses, and fucking batshit psycho bad 60’s horror movie hair cuts, and are talking in this crazed monotoned, clearly preplanned, and pre written lies where they lie about shit that was going on in that place, just ignorant brainwashed fools, its unfathomable to me that an entire group of people would get together and pull this kind of shenanigans. Lies lies lies, more fucking lies, and you can hear it in their voices, they are completly scared shitless, and I dont even feel bad, cause Im too caught up in the irony of the fact that this creepy old codger on the other side of the “live via satellite” is a dude who has been married like 15 fucking times, and probably has a few hundred kids of his own, I mean shit, you live to be his age, and your bound to have a ton of offspring. Im also too busy to get enraged over what a crazy fucking country we live in, where this shit happens, that I think to myself, ya know what, fuck it, Im glad its all over the news, so Im aware its out there, I mean, it fucking is right ? Clearly, so why not know about it, sure there is probably BOATLOADS of shit going on that, I dont even want to fathom, but when it comes down to it, chalk it up to, at least now I know.

First of all, let me adress something, its been forever since I have written anything, I know, and Im sorry. I’ve just had so much shit bottling up in my vast brilliant mind that I couldnt write, I didnt know what the fuck was gonna spew out of there. I tried sitting down countless times, and opening a blog and trying to get words out, and failing so miserably, that I would just close the computer, unable to post such garbage. I tried my normal writers block tricks, the peanut butter and ice water, the colbert report marathon, the swingers viewing. Nothing seemed to work. I couldnt find the voice I once had, and it was freaking me out, espcially cause this is around the one year birthday for this very site. Which I assure you wasnt a factor in my writers block, it auto renews and I dont pay attention to emails that look like spam. The point is, fuck who am I kidding, I dont know what the point is anymore than the next guy, but I do got some shit to say regaurding a ton of shit.

First of all, lets take a step back and admire that title, lets give it a big round of applause, thats fucking brilliant. Now I know how you all must feel when you read my other stuff, just blown away, this is the first time I’ve really blown myself away. The only problem is, thats all I really got. I was standing staring at my cupboards and saw and anchovies and peanut butter, and I looked around for bread. I’ve never had that, but my instinct was to consider, and seek out the means to make it a reality. And when I couldnt find it. I thought, “fuck me Running!!, thats a good title for a blog.” Turns out that it was. But I dont have much else to say. And with a title like that, I dare not post something with out coming up with something to write about ya know? So I went and enjoyed a smoke, and thought about it, and decided to present the first ever, and quitepossibly last.