Mad Movie Guy

Now, I don’t wanna go off on a rant here, but Im gonna. Fucking trains, seriously ? Do they serve any purpose other than fucking up someones day, while they are trying to get somewhere. Take this morning for example, imagine its around 9 am, and your just coming home from getting some breakfast, so you are fucking starving, and you have this tasty breakfast treat sitting on the front seat next to you, and you get caught at the damned train crossing. Adding insult to injury, you quickly look back and your choice to take this specific path home which avoided left turns, and went through the fewest amounts of traffic lights (I think in this way no matter where I go around town), but you figure, hey, its 9am on a sunday, what are the chances a train is going to get in your way (The other way goes OVER the tracks, grrrrr), so what happens, a train of course, and not just any fucking train, a long bitch of a transient carrying cargo train, doing a good 28 mins of back up, pull forward, tease you here, then more back up and more fucking going fucking forward, meanwhile your voice is horse from screaming at the ass pony putting on this display of tactically retarded train maneuvers, and of course chain smoking camels, to pass the time. No joke when I say at least 28 mins, the ENTIRE songs “Cant you see” and “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (Got a little weepy there, for the lives of the wives and the sons and the daughters, but the legend lives on from the chippawah on down, Im gonna stop now)” played off the ipod, and those are not short fucking songs. So I did a little web surfing, and sent some myspace messages, caught up on the CNN, and was pondering the ways around causing alternate timelines when travelling through time, when I started to think to myself, seriously, what the fuck good are trains, every time you see one, the cars are almost empty, and the are covered in scribbles, all they do is allow Hobo’s easy transport, so they can all unite and eventually form a malitia, to quite possibly over through ours, or even the Canadian Goverment, I haven’t quite figured out what their intentions are on that front. But my point is, there is faster ways to ship shit, that doesnt fuck up my day, what If I was carrying an organ for some kind of operation that needed to be preformed “STAT!!!”, trains should be fucking outlawed, is there some part of me that is bitter because I have never travelled by train ? Possibly, but Ive also never traveled by hovercraft or space shuttle, but those two alternative forms of transportation, never prevent me from getting home in time to watch The Notebook, or what ever may be on TV at the time. Then again, I probably have that movie on DVD just in case something like this ever came up. Bottom line, out the fuck law trains, I dont wanna deal with them anymore, but please keep traintracks, they are pretty fucking cool, and the conerstone for many a childrens adventure movie. Doubt me ? Nevermind, you all know better, plus to make matters worse, the train managed to finally “Get the fuck” out of my way, just a moment too soon, as I was on the verge of a breakthrough with time travel. Now If I could just get some insane government grant, Ill prove time time travel is possible, that or take the money and run.

Sometimes, when Im at work standing at the ice machine, I like to pretend I am casting a spell and conjuring the ice right into the cup.

I find it funny when you see someone walking down the hall with toilet paper stuck to their shoes. I find it fucking hilarious, when your going down the freeway, and you see a truck with a few porta pottys in it, and there is thirty feet of toilet paper streaming behind it.

I light a cigarette, and inhale deeply, listening to a commercial on the TV, and looking out into the few remaining moments of one of the last few days that try so hard to be a day, but next saturday will be ultimately defeated, by the brainchild of Benny Franklin, one of my favorite days of the year, Daylight Savings Time Day (Dont tell me you havent done your shopping yet, you last minute loving fools) anyways, I got off track, I was smoking, and I used a lighter to do it, on the commercial, they we talking about fire in some way, maybe the cali fires, I dont know, but it got me thinking about fire, and how, wait, I have to rewind, I think the commercial was more important, lemme check the dvr, ill be right back.

Man today sucked, today was a shitty shitty shitty fucking day. Work was normal, nothing big, worked out to a classic episode of the OC, aside from what happened just after 11am it was a normal day. At 11 am I checked Oregonlive for blazer news. Saw the headline “Oden out for 2007-08 Season” and my heart sank, my stoumach started to hurt, and I heard the sound of hundreds of thousands of hearts beaking all at one time. Some didnt know at the time, but that didnt matter, I heard it. I heard every one of them being crushed. Terrible Terrible news. Just awful. I dont even really have the words. Crushing, I had to call my brother, and talk about it, he didnt know, so I had to tell him, it was like telling someone that a loved one has passed away. Not that I have ever had to do that, but fuck this sucked. I guess it was probably better that I called and told him, cause if he saw it on his own, he wouldnt have had anyone to talk to about it instantly, so he might have felt lost, not unlike benji in Benji: The Hunted.

Mark Twain once said “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” Which is a pretty good way to look at shit when it comes down to it, dont ya think ? The third part is what we are here today to talk about. My liberation from myspace was just the creative kick in the balls that I needed to get this shit going, to take me to the next level, and it has worked.